10. Just Miss You
I don't how else to say it, I miss you. Your absence hurts, sometimes more than others. I don't even think of it all the time, but your not being in this world anymore is a constant ache that I will never be without entirely. I yearn for you spirit your presence, your love. A lot of people say cats don't really love, only manipulate for their own interests. That's true enough with a lot of cats and you laid down that hand yourself occasionally, as we all do.
"Dogs, now that's true love," some say, "such devotion and loyalty!" Well they got that last part right. What so many people don't recognize is that what they see as love is really dependance. A dog's self worth and identity is so tied up in pleasing their master that there is not capacity for real love as I see it. It's adoration for the weak human egos than need it as desperately as the dogs need to fulfill it. It's not a bad match, but love it ain't.
Cats won't prostitute their emotions for a biscuit or anything else. If they feel like digging you, for a while, they will because they want to. When they don't give a shit about much, giving a shit really means something.
Then you would look at me, straight in my eyes and beyond for long moments. There are few time in my life I sensed such pure love from anyone, human or not. When you looked me it was a whole conversation, a whole history that was only ours.
Your look said, "remember? remember how I was lost and scared and hungry and you scooped me up and took me with you. Your lap was soft and warm. You spoke to me softly as the vehicle rocked and I slept with complete ease for the first time in my life.
"Then you put me in a basement. Your voice said something. I of course didn't know the words, but felt like a promise. Then you left. I was scared again. Life returned a bit to what it had been before. I hid in the shadows. I slept, but it was not the good sleep I had in your lap. Then I awoke to hear your voice again, a sound I thought maybe I'd never here again. I was so happy! I ran from my hiding place to see if it was true, to see if it was you. It was you and in that moment I felt like I'd never fear being alone again."
Maybe you're just hoping for affection, play, or some treat treats. I think it's more than that. I have known a lot of cats and I have never had one look at me the way that you did, I don't expect I ever will.
I love you forever my little baby kitten,
Daddy
"Dogs, now that's true love," some say, "such devotion and loyalty!" Well they got that last part right. What so many people don't recognize is that what they see as love is really dependance. A dog's self worth and identity is so tied up in pleasing their master that there is not capacity for real love as I see it. It's adoration for the weak human egos than need it as desperately as the dogs need to fulfill it. It's not a bad match, but love it ain't.
Cats won't prostitute their emotions for a biscuit or anything else. If they feel like digging you, for a while, they will because they want to. When they don't give a shit about much, giving a shit really means something.
Then you would look at me, straight in my eyes and beyond for long moments. There are few time in my life I sensed such pure love from anyone, human or not. When you looked me it was a whole conversation, a whole history that was only ours.
Your look said, "remember? remember how I was lost and scared and hungry and you scooped me up and took me with you. Your lap was soft and warm. You spoke to me softly as the vehicle rocked and I slept with complete ease for the first time in my life.
"Then you put me in a basement. Your voice said something. I of course didn't know the words, but felt like a promise. Then you left. I was scared again. Life returned a bit to what it had been before. I hid in the shadows. I slept, but it was not the good sleep I had in your lap. Then I awoke to hear your voice again, a sound I thought maybe I'd never here again. I was so happy! I ran from my hiding place to see if it was true, to see if it was you. It was you and in that moment I felt like I'd never fear being alone again."
Maybe you're just hoping for affection, play, or some treat treats. I think it's more than that. I have known a lot of cats and I have never had one look at me the way that you did, I don't expect I ever will.
I love you forever my little baby kitten,
Daddy
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