#12 What the Hell Am I Doing?

Dearest Baby Kitten,
I feel adrift. I am so weak and undisciplined. Is there...


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 Hello my sweet baby kitten, I hope that time where you are is different. Here it's been a long time since I wrote you a letter, though I promise I think of you more often than that, though less often than I allow myself. I love you and miss you so much that thinking of you is as painful as it is wonderful. Maybe I could think of things in a different light, like imagine being in heaven with you. We could run around. Kitten, we could fly! Are you flying now? These are the sorts of thoughts that have more joy than pain, but still there is pain. Until I am lying beside you and petting you once again there will be pain. I think you may be the thing is life I have loved more than anything, Delilah. Mommy misses you too. She deals with things in different ways, but I have no doubt that she loves you so much. Maybe we will all fly together, but I also know, as does mommy, that there is something special between you and me. From the moment you ran to me in that cellar in Mississippi. I ca
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