#5 The Amazing Flying Kitten
My Dearest Baby Kitten,
I'm find that writing to you can bring my whole day down. Sometimes it takes me days to recover. Out of self preservation I have held off for a while, but I don't want to you think I don't think about you all the time, so I'm going to grab some tissue, buckle-in and do this thing. It's not you're fault this is hard my kitten, it's just life.
We are slowly getting used to the apartment without you. Mommy goes away for a few days this week so this will be my first time alone-alone in quite a while. That might be hard. I do occasionally see something in the corner of my eye that looks like you sleeping, or a pillow will settle or fall a bit and I will think it's you, then of course a second later I remember you are gone from the the apartment and our present lives, but never from our hearts my little girl.
I am suddenly aware that the Internet -those screens we are obsessed with, is almost nothing but cats! Cat's playing the cup game, cats playing ping pong, cats falling off of things. They throw some other animals in there to satisfy cat monopoly regulations, puppies asleep on a baby, cute rodents eating things. I'm seeing a lot of raccoons lately. I have been scrolling fast past all of it until recently. Now I find myself in the middle of a cat video when I realize... You know.
Do you remember the time you were asleep on that air mattress while I was letting the air out? You sank lower and lower, then I decided to fall onto the mattress which sent you flying straight up into the air. You woke up in mid air and somehow, using Warner Brothers, Wiley E. Coyote physics, you propelled yourself forward and out of the room before you even touched the ground, leaving a small puff of smoke and fur,. That's how I remember it anyway. I'm sorry I didn't have a camera recording that, you could have been one of those famous cats on the screens.
There are a lot of things I am sorry for. I'm sorry I didn't play with you more. It should have been an everyday habit, but it was more like weekly. I should have made you sick of playing and running after treat treats. I know I always said if you had treat-treats everyday they wouldn't be treat-treats, but what I would give to have had more of those with you.
I'm sorry it took me until your adolescence to get you 'fixed'. This is the reason I think you had so much hormonal distress for years. Even though your girl parts were disabled you still had a powerful hankering for a tomcat once a month and you let everyone know it.
I'm sorry for the times we left you at the pool house with Mommy's family. I know you hated those dogs, and I know you hated that I was not there, even though mommy often stayed. I'm sorry we did not take better care of your teeth. I know despite all the vets who assured us it was possible, I knew brushing your teeth would be a bloodbath. We should have, however, had them clean your teeth once a year. Maybe that would have extended you life, maybe it wouldn't have, but I'm sorry we didn't have it done regardless.
I'm not sorry for bringing you back from Mississippi, I'm not sorry for all the times I held you for a second or two longer than you wanted to be held (a second or two after that bleeding might begin). I'm not sorry that it hurts missing you.
Also, I'm not sorry for the air mattress thing. That shit was amazing!
Love, your big feeder lap,
Daddy
I'm find that writing to you can bring my whole day down. Sometimes it takes me days to recover. Out of self preservation I have held off for a while, but I don't want to you think I don't think about you all the time, so I'm going to grab some tissue, buckle-in and do this thing. It's not you're fault this is hard my kitten, it's just life.
We are slowly getting used to the apartment without you. Mommy goes away for a few days this week so this will be my first time alone-alone in quite a while. That might be hard. I do occasionally see something in the corner of my eye that looks like you sleeping, or a pillow will settle or fall a bit and I will think it's you, then of course a second later I remember you are gone from the the apartment and our present lives, but never from our hearts my little girl.
I am suddenly aware that the Internet -those screens we are obsessed with, is almost nothing but cats! Cat's playing the cup game, cats playing ping pong, cats falling off of things. They throw some other animals in there to satisfy cat monopoly regulations, puppies asleep on a baby, cute rodents eating things. I'm seeing a lot of raccoons lately. I have been scrolling fast past all of it until recently. Now I find myself in the middle of a cat video when I realize... You know.
Do you remember the time you were asleep on that air mattress while I was letting the air out? You sank lower and lower, then I decided to fall onto the mattress which sent you flying straight up into the air. You woke up in mid air and somehow, using Warner Brothers, Wiley E. Coyote physics, you propelled yourself forward and out of the room before you even touched the ground, leaving a small puff of smoke and fur,. That's how I remember it anyway. I'm sorry I didn't have a camera recording that, you could have been one of those famous cats on the screens.
There are a lot of things I am sorry for. I'm sorry I didn't play with you more. It should have been an everyday habit, but it was more like weekly. I should have made you sick of playing and running after treat treats. I know I always said if you had treat-treats everyday they wouldn't be treat-treats, but what I would give to have had more of those with you.
I'm sorry it took me until your adolescence to get you 'fixed'. This is the reason I think you had so much hormonal distress for years. Even though your girl parts were disabled you still had a powerful hankering for a tomcat once a month and you let everyone know it.
I'm sorry for the times we left you at the pool house with Mommy's family. I know you hated those dogs, and I know you hated that I was not there, even though mommy often stayed. I'm sorry we did not take better care of your teeth. I know despite all the vets who assured us it was possible, I knew brushing your teeth would be a bloodbath. We should have, however, had them clean your teeth once a year. Maybe that would have extended you life, maybe it wouldn't have, but I'm sorry we didn't have it done regardless.
I'm not sorry for bringing you back from Mississippi, I'm not sorry for all the times I held you for a second or two longer than you wanted to be held (a second or two after that bleeding might begin). I'm not sorry that it hurts missing you.
Also, I'm not sorry for the air mattress thing. That shit was amazing!
Love, your big feeder lap,
Daddy
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