Letters to Delilah

My Dearest Baby Kitten, I should have played with you every day. We played a lot but I remember letting weeks go by without throwing treat-treats for you. There was a concern that they would be bad for you to have too much, and maybe they would have been, but fuck! I should have made you happier. One thing I can't say I regret, I did love you with all my heart and I showed you with all my heart. You possibly the only being that could take my intense affection. That's all I think for now. I love you! Daddy

Hello My Sweet Baby Kitten Delilah, I have had some scary times lately, times when I was extremely sad. I have also had physical things happen. Something is wrong with my body and I know that if I don't do something different I will die. Not figuratively, I don't have the tendency towards drama Mommy does. When I was really scared and depressed and the fear of death was augmented considerably. What really sucks about this is that when I think of you I get sad, really sad. I miss you so, so much. thinking of you sends me on s spiral of despair. That's not fair. I love you and I want to be able to think about you and remember you and celebrate the time you were in my life and how much I love you. That's why I don't write to you very often frankly, that and a touch of my standard Daddy lameness. Sometimes it's just to much, I start sobbing and I can't do anything much less write. There is some good news. In the past week I have felt good, happy almost. L...

 Hello my sweet baby kitten, I hope that time where you are is different. Here it's been a long time since I wrote you a letter, though I promise I think of you more often than that, though less often than I allow myself. I love you and miss you so much that thinking of you is as painful as it is wonderful. Maybe I could think of things in a different light, like imagine being in heaven with you. We could run around. Kitten, we could fly! Are you flying now? These are the sorts of thoughts that have more joy than pain, but still there is pain. Until I am lying beside you and petting you once again there will be pain. I think you may be the thing is life I have loved more than anything, Delilah. Mommy misses you too. She deals with things in different ways, but I have no doubt that she loves you so much. Maybe we will all fly together, but I also know, as does mommy, that there is something special between you and me. From the moment you ran to me in that cellar in Mississippi. I ca...